Regrets, Memories and Healing
by AntiLupinTonks
Summary: Sirius runs away from the Whore house his father sold Regulus and himself to. What happens when he meets up with a wolflike boy named Remus with the a love for books? Sirius must come to terms with the guilt of leaving his brother behind. RLSB SLASH!
1. Chapter 1

Title: Regrets, Memories and Healing.

Author: AntiLupinTonks

Beta: N/A

(A/N: Okay. I am just starting this fic...it just sort of came to me out of no where and I don't really know what will happen since, well...I don't know. But I do know this will end up being a Romance since, well...I LOVE ROMANCE. Anyways...I would really really really appreciate reviews and you guys could give me suggestions on the final pairings. -wink- This is AU and there is no magic. Usually I am not a fan of non-magial Fanfictions but this can't have magic since they would be in Hogwarts and that just screws this up BIG TIME.

Another thing...THIS WILL BE SLASH SO IF YOU DON'T LIKE GUY/GUY RELATIONSHIPS I SUGGEST YOU WALK AWAY NOW. and i'm not even going to tell you not to flame since...i honestly don't care what you think. I'm writing this for me and so you can keep all your negative comments to yourself because I'll just laugh at you while I write the next chapter. Forgive me for spelling mistakes...I don't have a Beta. . )

Edit: I am an American writing a story about people in England. So if I make a mistake on the currancy or if I use a phrase wrong or if I have them eating something that they wouldn't eat in England then please tell me!!! I don't have a Beta yet but if someone wants to be mind then tell me! I only ask that if they want to be my beta they have a pretty good idea about British Culture. Okay okay! I wrote alot for the A/N this time and I promise you that this will be the longest!!

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Harry Potter or any themes connected to Harry Potter...that would be JKR. I do own this plot though. D

NOW...TO THE STORY:

Chapter One:

Air is being pulled into my lungs in steady gasps as I sprint down the deserted street. The only sounds are my beated up sneakers hitting the pavement and the steady hum of my thoughts whirling through my brain.

_Will he understand? Does he know that you're doing this for him? So he can have the bit of bread that you need to take from him in order to survive? Will he forgive you for not being there to take the lashings for him when he crys? He needs to be tough. Will he understand that you still love him? Even while he's being taken away to be sold to the men when you're not there to stop them? Of course he will...You're still his brother...his big brother, Sirius. Some big brother you are...leaving him in a whore house while you leave to start your life somewhere else. _

I grind my teeth together and make a sharp veer off the main road and into an ally.

_He'll forgive me...I'll be back. _I think before the shadows engulf my body and carry me away from Regulus and that Whore house and into the unknown.

Sirius Black, age 17 walked into a small and quaint motel and strolled over to the desk. A boy greeted him with warm hazel eyes hidden behind round, wire-framed glasses and messy raven-colored hair.

"How can I help you?" The boy asked and pushed his glasses up onto his nose. His eyes flickered over Sirius' appearance. His Onyx hair tangled slightly and falling in waves to his shoulders. Guarded, grey eyes stared out behind longish black eyelashes that caressed his tanned cheeks. Sirius cleared his throat.

"One room, for one night...please." His voice was deep and slightly gruff and he reached into the pockets of his black jeans and pulled out a smallish black wallet.

James nodded and typed a few things into a computer to his left.

"Name?"

"Sirius Black. Spelled S-i-r-i-u-s, and Black like the color."

James nodded and continued typing, his pale fingers flying over the keys.

"Age?"

"Seventeen."  
"Choice of Payment?"

"Cash."

With a final tap, James looked back at the teen in front of him and smiled brightly. "Alright, you can pay when you leave. Thank You." He handed Sirius his key and waved toward the stairs, leading presumedly upstairs.

Sirius forced a small smile at him and walked up the stairs and down the narrow hallway of doors. Checking the doors every few seconds he came to his room. Room # 13. Sirius quickly unlocked the door and stepped in, closing the door with a soft click.

The room was small, but Sirius didn't expect it to be big. It was done out with warm browns and deep blues. A four poster bed took up one side of the room and a small wardrobe was set across from that. Underneath a large window sat a writing desk, stocked with paper, pens and pencils. Sirius toed off his sneakers and stepped toward the bed, enjoying the feel of the warm carpet underneath his bare feet. Sighing he flopped down on the bed and stared at the wall next to him.

Thoughts of his younger brother floated into his concious and he pushed them down forcefully. Now was not the time to think about his brother and how he would soon 'become a man' as the boys used to say. Tomorrow he could do that, but for now, he was too tired.

The next morning Sirius woke up confused. As last nights events slowly came back to him he sighed and rubbed his eyes with the back of his hands. Deciding to get an early breakfast Sirius got out of the warm bed and redressed into his clothes from yesterday. Wrinkling his nose he decided he needed new clothes and was for once glad he stole Hank's money. Running a hand through his hair he jogged down the stairs and walked to the counter. After a few more minutes of taking time to tell James that he would be staying for an undecided amount of time he walked out into the bright street. Squinting he looked to his left and saw a sign that made his heart flutter. _Diagon Ally. _He had always wanted to go to Diagon Ally when he was a kid but those dreams were crushed when his father sold Regulus and himself to Hank.

Sirius decided that a trip for clothes should be first on his agenda. He looked around for a clothes shop and found one with a sign reading: Madam Malkins. Sirius stepped in and waved back to the friendly lady at the store counter and started browsing the clothes. Sirius knew that black was the color he looked best in, and also for some unknowned reason it kept away unwanted people from engaging him in a conversation so he chose several pairs of black jeans and a few black tee shirts. He also chose a silver shirt with a black dragon on the front, a black blazer and a pair of sturdy black boots. Satisfied he paid, left and headed back to the Motel to change.

After changing into a pair of black jeans, stuffed into his black, mid-calf high boots, and a black tee shirt with his old black leather jacket on top he stepped back into Diagon Ally in search of a place to eat.

As he searched the streets for a small diner or a restaurant of sorts he bumped straight into a warm body. A small 'oof' sounded from the boy as he fell straight onto his butt. Sirius looked down and had to hold in a laugh at the sight of the poor teen. Reaching out a hand, Sirius helped him up.

"Sorry, Mate. Didn't see you there."

"That's...quite alright." The boy was carrying a large stack of books in one arm and his baggy white tee shirt was all wrinkled from the fall. Looking up he caught Sirius' eye and held it. The boy was thin but still had muscle on him. He had sandy blonde hair that fell wispy to the tips of his ears and that fell slightly into his amber eyes. He wasn't short but was shorter than Sirius who had a 6' 2" frame and was petite with slim, girlish hips. Sirius handed him the last book and smiled brightly, revealing rows of pearly white teeth. He looked down at the hand that was still connected with this stranger's and he lifted them up, shaking them both together.

"Sirius Black."

The boy blushed and pulled his small hand away and shook the hair out of his eyes. "Remus Lupin." Sirius winked cheekily and side-stepped so he was standing directly next to this Remus character but facing the opposite direction.

"Well, Mister Lupin...Do you know any good Diners?"

TBC

-deep breath- Done. This chapter was actually very easy to write...and I know it's super duper short but it's just an introduction!! Maybe if your all really good I'll write a long chapter next time...what do you say?? huh? huh? Next chapter you will meet Lily and maybe Peter. I don't know yet!!! Don't hit me!!!! I actually planned on making you just meet James this chapter but while I was adding more to make it longer I just had to put Remmie in there too!! Isn't Remus just adorable? -giggle- Okay...REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW. That is the first and only time I shall yell at you to Review. From now on...I will casually suggest it. XD. Until then...

Anti Lupin/Tonks


	2. Chapter 2

Title: Regrets, Memories and Healing.

Author: AntiLupinTonks

Beta: The wonderful and ever-helpful Vikertee. -applause-

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Harry Potter or any themes connected to Harry Potter...that would be JKR. I do own this plot though. D

A/N: dun dun dun...CHAPTER TWO!!!!! whooo!! Are you excited?!?! I am!!!

Okay Thanks and Cookies to my reviewers! Love you guys!

Warning: This chapter contains sex (maybe rape, I'm not sure if you would categorize this as rape...) but it's not graphic AT ALL.

Chapter Two:

"Well, Mister Lupin...Do you know any good Diners?" A charming smile burst onto Sirius' face and Remus' knees weakened slightly.

"Uh..." Remus racked his brain for a place that was suitable, at the same time questioning Sirius' ability to be trusted. "I know this place, but it gets a bit crowded around this time." Remus said hesitantly and shifted the pile of books in his arm. Remus worked part-time at a bookstore, so whenever he got his paycheck he put his employee discount to good use and blew half of his pay on new books.

"Great!" Sirius said and bowed lowly, tipping an imaginary hat. "Lead the way, Moony!" Remus raised an eyebrow at the nickname but never the less started weaving through the crowd.

"Moony?" Remus could have sworn he saw a faint blush creep up Sirius' cheeks.

"Yes, well...you remind me of a wolf...and you know...werewolf...full moon...Moony."

Remus just let a small, amused smile form on his face.

"I see. Well, if I am to be Moony, then I shall call you Padfoot, yes?" Now it was Sirius' turn to raise an eyebrow. Remus explained before the question left Sirius' lips. "You remind me of a puppy, and the foot of a puppy is padded, yes? So you are Padfoot." Sirius shot Remus an offended look and placed a large hand over his chest where his heart was.

"Moi? A puppy? I think not, Mister Moony! I am not a cute and cuddly creature!" Remus chuckled and swerved around a couple holding a toddler between them.

"Fine. You are a dog, then. Better?" Sirius sniffed haughtily and stuck his nose into the air, his natural aristocratic look coming out.

"Much." By this time they had reached a small diner with glass windows that showed old-fashioned seats and booths inside. A bar sat in the far corner. Sirius tilted his head up to look at the sign.

"The Leaky Cauldron?"

Remus nodded, "Mhm. C'mon." Grabbing the taller boy's wrist, Remus pulled Sirius into the already packed pub. They maneuvered around to a table near the back and sat, one on each side of the booth. Sirius' face was stretched into a grin and his grey eyes sparkled.

A plump boy around their age walked over, a white nametag reading 'Peter' stuck to his breast pocket.

"Welcome to The Leaky Cauldron, can I take your order?"

Remus smiled and spoke before Sirius could.

"Two specials and two butterbeers, please." The waiter nodded, gave a small smile and scampered away into the crowd.

They sat in silence for a few moments until Remus broke it by chuckling lightly. Sirius raised a dark eyebrow. Shaking is head, Remus explained. "It's just, this whole thing is pretty crazy, don't you think?"

Sirius shrugged. "Yeah. I guess. I mean, we don't know each other and yet we're eating together at a pub." Remus nodded and had just opened his mouth to say something when Peter came back with their drinks, a promise that their food would be ready soon falling from his lips.

Sirius raised his glass and tilted it slightly. "To insane meetings and new friendships." Remus smiled and lifted his own glass to meet Sirius', the clink of glasses barely audible over the sound of laughter in the pub.

Remus Lupin and Sirius Black stayed in The Leaky Cauldron for lunch and then wandered out onto the streets to do a bit of light shopping, although Sirius didn't have any money left. The large amount he stole from Brian was just enough for his shelter, clothes and food. He'd need to get a job, preferably one that didn't involve taking his clothes off.

"So. Tell me a bit about yourself..." Remus said around a spoon full of ice cream. The two teens were sitting in the ice cream parlor located in the middle of Diagon Alley. Sirius tapped his chin in thought, there was plenty he could say about himself but a lot of that was too private to tell a near stranger.

"Um. Okay. I have a younger brother named Regulus but...we got separated. I'm nineteen and Regulus is fifteen." Sirius paused and glanced up at Remus who was staring at him in interest. Sirius quickly thought up a few 'white' lies to cover for his obvious lack of normal life. "My parents are originally from...err...France and we lived there for a few years before I moved in with my Aunt and Uncle here in London and Regulus stayed in France." _There. That seemed safe. _Sirius looked up to see Remus grinning at him, his eyes sparkling with excitement.

"Parlez-vous français?!" Remus practically squealed. Sirius barely kept himself from letting his jaw drop to the floor.

"Err...N-Not really." Of course he knew what Remus said. Everyone knew what that means. Remus looked disappointed but then it was quickly replaced by suspicion. Sirius swallowed. Oops.

"You lived in France but you can't speak French?" Remus raised an eyebrow, disbelief clear on his face. Sirius tugged the collar of his tee shirt and looked around. Was it hot in there or was it just him? He swallowed and frantically looked around for something to distract Remus from the question but could find nothing. Sighing, Sirius turned to look at Remus, who still sat with that same facial expression.

"Okay, look. I'm not French...hell, I've never even been to France," Remus opened his mouth to say something but Sirius cut him off. "I can't tell you where I'm from or much else about me...not just yet." Sirius stared into Remus' amber eyes, silently pleading him to understand. Remus frowned and pulled his bottom lip into his mouth,giving off a thinking aura. After a few moments he nodded slowly.

"Okay." Sirius grinned and leaned back in his seat, spooning his vanilla ice cream into his mouth, his silky hair framing his grinning face nicely. Remus smiled back hesitantly, he wasn't sure if he could trust this Sirius character, but he seemed nice and Remus liked him, it was about time for him to take a risk.

A few hours and many random outbursts from Sirius later the sun was just setting over Diagon Alley and Remus checked his wrist watch. "This was really great, Pads." Remus said, using the shortened version of the nickname he gave Sirius, "I had a lot of fun, but I really need to get home." Remus hitched the nearly forgotten books up higher in his arms and smiled at the canine-like boy standing in front of him. Sirius smiled back, a flicker of sadness flashed in his grey eyes but was gone in an instant, replaced by hope.

"Maybe we could meet again." Sirius said, smiling. When Sirius was with Remus all thoughts of The House and Regulus left his mind and he felt like his old self again, even if his old self was about six years old. Remus nodded, his smile never leaving his thin lips as he resisted the urge to chuckle at Sirius, who at the nod started bouncing on his heels, grinning so wide Remus was sure his face would split in half. "Great!" Sirius leaned down and hugged Remus tightly, taking care to not push the books out of Remus' arms. Remus let out the chuckle he was holding in and hugged Sirius back with some difficulty. The older of the two let go and stepped back. Winking, he turned on his heel and disappeared in the noticeably thinner crowd. Remus sighed as he stared after the boy who he met just that day, and couldn't help but admire the teen's arse as he walked away. Remus sighed and turned left, making his way back to the house he lived in with his parents, all earlier suspicions gone

Over the next few days, Sirius started up a ritual. He woke up each morning, took his shower, changed, went to Diagon Alley and beganhis search for both the petit blond and a job. So far he'd had no luck for both searches.

Sighing, Sirius made his way back to the hotel after his fourth day of searching, as usual coming back exactly how he left. Thoughts whizzed through his head. Without the distraction of one Remus Lupin, Sirius had taken to worrying about Regulus every second, and which waswhat he was doing at the exact moment when he ran directly into a warm body. Looking down, Sirius couldn't stop himself from wishing it was Remus as a jolt of deja vu assaulted him. Instead of the small teen Sirius was hoping for, it was a girl with fiery red hair. She sat on her bottom, her pale blue skirt flayed out around her. Sirius smiled slightly and reached a hand out.

"Need help?" The girl's head snapped up and two emerald eyes stared at Sirius. Her face was pink from embarrassment and the color only deepened as she realized that she was still on the floor. Accepting the extended hand, she let herself be helped up. Dusting her hands off on her long skirt, she smiled slightly at the boy standing in front of her.

"Sorry about that." Sirius motioned with his hands between them, as if to showing them banging together. The emerald-eyed girl only waved her hand and pushed a piece of her hair behind a pale ear. "No problem. I'm Lily by the way. Lily Evans."

Sirius smiled, showing his teeth, "Sirius Black". A rush of deja vu slammed into Sirius but he shook it away, determined not to think about Remus. "So. Where are you headed to in such a hurry that you run into people?" Lily asked, her lip twitching in amusement at the sheepish grin Sirius shot her.

"Back to my hotel, and I wasn't really in a hurry...just lost in thought." Sirius shrugged as Lily formed her lips into an 'o' and nodded.

"Well, that explains it." Lily grinned and patted Sirius on the arm.

"I'll let you get back to your thinking," and then she was gone. Sirius shook his hair out of his face and headed back to the hotel, pausing briefly to greet the hazel-eyed boy at the counter. Sirius reached his room and walked directly over to the bed, not bothering to undress he flopped face-first onto the warm mattress, instantly falling asleep.

[Begin Dream

"How's my pet?" A rather plump man asked, a wicked grin on his lips, showing off his fake gold teeth. Sirius winced and pulled out of the grip the man held on his chin. Brian tsked and grabbed Sirius around the waist, pulling him flush against his body. "Is Siri being a bad boy?" Brian whispered huskily, his dark brown eyes filled with lust. Sirius grimaced and struggled against Brian, knowing exactly what would happen if he gave any answer at all. If he said yes, he would be 'punished' and if he said no, he would be 'rewarded'. Either way, he was screwed, in more than one way. Brian growled and pushed Sirius back roughly, causing him to fall onto the bed behind him. Sirius sighed and forced his body to relax, knowing it would hurt less and hopefully be over faster. He felt the small amount of clothing he was wearing be pulled off, leaving his body naked and vulnerable. Turning his head to the side, Sirius stared at the wall and tried not to focus on the pain in the lower regions or the grunts and gasps escaping Brian. Sirius winced as he felt the warm liquid spurt inside of him and moved over as Brian collapsed next to him. Brian reached over lazily and grabbed his chin, turning his head to look at him. Sirius stared at him through dull eyes, his face expressionless. The older man ran a single finger down Sirius cheek and traced his jaw.

"So beautiful..." he whispered and fell asleep, his finger still pressed to Sirius' face. Sirius pushed the finger away and decided that it was now or never. He would have to play out his plan. Crawling out of the bed, Sirius was careful not to wake Brian and grabbed his clothes, pulling them on along with a pair of old trainers. Grabbing Brian's pants he searched the pockets, taking all the money he could find and stuffed it into his own. He found a fair amount, enough to hopefully take care of himself for at least a few days before he could find work. Quickly, Sirius walked over to the window and opened it, climbed out and started running...not looking back once. If he had he would have seen a pale face that looked a lot like his own staring out at him from one of the windows, a sad smile on the chapped lips.

[End Dream

TBC

A/N: I hope everyone understood who that was suppose to be at the end...if u didn't...well, too bad. :D And below are the thanks for people who reviewed the last chapter. To be honest I was quite surprised by how many reviews I go. FIVE WHOLE REVIEWS! whoo. I'm excited.

Thanks to:

Eleventh Requiem- Actually he has Hazel eyes and Remus has Amber eyes (i think I told this to you in something...) so I changed it to Hazel eyes if you were to check. :D

Vikertee - XD

snowlover - Everyone else has a comment...so...YAY!

fan girl 666 - Love the name. :D

StrawberryPunk- Yeah! Me too!

I've already started writing Ch. 3. I don't know when it'll be up though. OH! Btw...should I have the longbottoms in this? Y'know, Alice and Frank? Or should I just leave it how it is? I don't really want to have OCs. They kinda freak me out. :D


	3. Chapter 3

Title: Regrets, Memories and Healing  
Author: AntiLupinTonks  
Beta: Vikertee  
Disclaimer: I DON'T OWN HARRY POTTER OR ANY THEMES CONNECTED TO HARRY POTTER. I do own this plot.  
A/N: Sorry for taking FOREVER to post. I've been busy. And I've been on punishment, therefore cut off from any computer use. TT.TT

CHAPTER THREE:

Sirius strolled leisurely through the now familiar scenery of Diagon Alley, having just enough money to buy himself a meal. He needed a job and he needed one ASAP. A sign in the window of a shop caught his attention, bold red letters standing out against the white of the sign. _HELP NEEDED - CASHIER. Details on Request. _The teen flicked his hair over his shoulder and walked in, making sure to seem completely confident. It seemed to be a bookstore, judging from the vast amount of books placed neatly on the shelves . Sirius didn't really enjoy reading, but he did need money, so this would have to do. He walked up to the counter, which no one was standing at, and leaned his upper body against it casually. He looked over his shoulder every few moments to check and see if anyone would come and help him--the place looked deserted.  
"Hello?" Sirius called after waiting for a while, and a boy poked his head around the corner of a bookshelf. Sirius' heart leaped into his throat as Remus shook his sandy hair from his eyes and grinned, walking over.  
"Hey, Sirius! Long time no see, eh?" The blond reached a hand out and Sirius shook, a wide grin spread against his slightly pale cheeks.  
"Hey, Remus, whattcha doing here?"  
"I work here." He chuckled at the expression on Sirius' face, a mix of shock, excitement and hesitation.  
"Oh, really?" The dark-haired boy raised his hand and rubbed the back of his neck, his smile faltering a bit. "I-I was just looking for a job and the sign outside said you were looking for work but I guess they found someone already so..." He trailed off, a disappointed smile grazing his lips. Remus blinked and then laughed, shaking his head.  
"You dolt. I've been working here for a few years now, the job is still open." Sirius rolled his eyes and shoved Remus' shoulder back lightly.  
"Okay, Okay. How do I apply?" He smirked, taking great joy the way the brunet across from him rubbed his shoulder.  
"Well, you don't really have to. You're the only person who applied," he smiled. "You got the job!"

Sirius and Remus strolled along a dark street, each holding a throw-away cup of fizzing drink. They walked in silence for a few minutes. Sirius had got the job and started that day, surprising not only Remus but also himself on how well he actually did for the job. He was a natural charmer and had a knack for being about to subtly get the customer to buy more. They passed a road that caused a faint memory in the back of the dark-haired man's head but quickly shook it away. Suddenly he felt Remus stiffen next to him, and he turned to look at his friend. The amber-eyed man was staring across the road at two figures drenched in shadows, a thin eyebrow raised, the straw to his drink inches from his lips.  
"Hey, Pads?" He asked.  
"Yeah?"  
"Do you know him? He looks a lot like you." Sirius frowned and turned to look at who Remus was talking about, barely keeping his jaw from dropping to the floor. Regulus Black stood across the street, a flirtatious smile gracing his lips as he spoke to a man dressed entirely in purple. Sirius swallowed and shook his head.  
"Nope. Never seen him in my life."

Sirius lay in bed that night trying to get thoughts of Regulus out of his mind. Not only was his younger brother still under the control of the bastard named Brian but he was also working the streets--a sure sign that Brian had taken a personal liking to him. Sirius turned over, burying his head into the not-so-soft pillow. He knew the dreams would come as they did every night but he couldn't bring himself to care.

(Begin Dream)  
"You and your brother are going away for a little while..." A man in his mid-thirties stood over a boy around the age of seven. His dark hair was pulled back in a ponytail at the base of his neck and the odd greens and blacks of his tattoos stood out against his pale skin. The man lifted another article of clothing and dropped it neatly in the small suitcase set on the bed. "You are to listen to Brian and do what he says. Understood?"  
"Yes, sir" Sirius answered meekly, his bare feet softly scuffled against the ground. "But, Dad...aren't you coming too?" The man sneered and placed yet another shirt in the suitcase.  
"No, Siri. I'm not."  
Sirius watched as his father zipped the suitcase up and heaved it to the door where his mother and brother waited. His brother had a frightened yet excited expression on his face that Sirius hadn't seen in a long time. The six year old took his brother's hand as they were led to the car. As the car drove past the run down apartment Sirius and Regulus had come to call home they both waved, sure they would see it again in a few weeks.  
(End Dream)

Sirius jolted awake, breathing heavily. He swallowed and wiped a bit of sweat from his brow and hauled himself from bed on shaky legs. Stumbling, he made his way to the connected bathroom and splashed ice water on his face, successfully waking himself fully. Sirius heard a knock on the door and made his way over, pulling a tee shirt on as he went. He pulled the door open to be faced with a grinning teen with messy hair and hazel eyes--the boy from the main desk. He smiled thinnly and hoped his voice wasn't hoarse when he spoke.  
"Yes? May I help you?" It wasn't hoarse. The boy nodded and held out a hand.  
"James Potter."  
"I know" Sirius spoke, his voice dry. The boy--James--frowned and the taller boy sighed. He pointed a thin finger at the boy's chest where a nametag lay clearly in view. James flushed and cleared his throat.  
"Ah...Yes. Anyways. I have your mail." He held up a white envelope. Sirius cautiously took it, confused as to who would be sending him mail. The only person he could think of would be Remus, but he never told Remus which hotel he was staying at. James noticed the frown and shot Sirius a concerned smile.  
"Everything okay, mate?"  
Sirius nodded distractedly and glanced at the address on the envelope. 12 Grimmauld Place. Sirius' heart dropped into his stomach and he ignored James' questions and closed the door quietly in the boy's face.  
With shaky hands Sirius tore the envelope open and scanned over the page. It was written in a hand filled with elegant swirls and dips, the opposite of his own. It had to be from his mother.

_Dearest Sirius,  
I know it has been a while and you don't know how much I regret not being able to watch you grow up. _(Sirius snorted.) _There is much that you don't know about the relationship between your father and I, Siri. I know that you are probably very upset with me, and you might not even finish reading this, so I will just tell you what I've written to inform you of. Brian has contacted your father and they are in the process of finding you right now. As you know, I have more connections in London than your father, therefore I have found you faster. You need to leave, Sirius. Go back to the House and get Regulus out. Your father knows that you care deeply about your younger brother. He will use this against you. I plead with you, Siri. Find your brother, get him out and leave. Never look back, my son. You are strong. Stronger than your father or I. I don't know when this letter will find you but you must know that you don't have much time. Take care, my son.  
-Love, Walburga Black  
_

Sirius laid the letter carefully down on his bed and took a few calming breaths. Swallowing hard, Sirius stood and started packing his stuff. This could be a trap but he didn't think so. His mother always seemed like she loved them, even when she didn't show it. Slipping on his trainers he walked out of the room, closing it firmly behind himself.

TBC

A/N: ugh. This is so short but I couldn't think of anything to put in it to make it longer. This fic won't be much longer actually. And I promised this to be slash so it shall be slash! But later on. Probably only near the end. Um...yeah so. I'm in the middle of writing this, writing a story for my friend (because she was bored and I started a story for her and I decided to finish it) AND a story for my writers club. Not to mention my friend Justin wants me to write him a scene. ugh. I have a lot to do. I NEED MORE FREE TIME! School is talking it all! arg. Plus...I'm in the middle of read four different fics. I need to slow down and take a cool down day where I can just...sleep. I think all the computer time is frying my brain! okay okay okay. Imma stop talking now. Thanks to all my reviewers and thanks to all my readers who don't review. (i don't hold it against you...since...well, i don't review many stories either. It is rather bothersome isn't it?) Until next time...  
-Anti Lupin Tonks.


	4. Chapter 4

Title: Regrets, Memories and Healing  
Author: AntiLupinTonks  
Beta: Vikertee  
Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter. Do I really have to keep writing this??

A/N: GAG! I'm sorry sorry sorry sorry sorryyyyy!! 

Remus Lupin flicked on the TV in his small apartment, flopping down on the couch with a bowl of popcorn. Toeing off his shoes he decided he'd have a peaceful day off. His plans were, obviously, not meant to be. A tap on his window forced him out of his butter induced state of unawareness. Standing, he walked to the window and peered out. 

"REMUS!" Sirius Black stared back at him, his eyes hard and no bright smile plastered on his face. Remus jumped slightly but pulled the window open. 

"Sirius? What're doing here? How did you find out where I lived?" Remus asked as Sirius clambered in, his heavy boots hindering his movement a bit. 

"Never mind that..." was Sirius' answer. He ran a shaky hand through his hair and started pacing, only causing Remus to worry more. He placed a small hand on Sirius' arm. 

"Padfoot...what's wrong?" Sirius huffed through his nose and flopped down on one of the slightly worn arm chairs. The shorter boy sat down on the coffee table, facing him. 

"I-I think I better start from the beginning..." 

_"You and your brother are going away for a while..." Orion said and folded yet another shirt.  
_

_"You'll be staying here..." A man with dark chocolate hair that fell limply in his eyes said and motioned to the door. On a tiny sign read the word: Sirius.  
_

_"Aw look, Scott! A newbie!" A girl with an unnaturally high voice squealed, her long hair hanging down in tangled curls. She pinched Sirius' cheeks.  
_

_"Shut up, Reg! Do you want to live or not? Now stop crying..." Sirius said and wiped the tears from Regulus' cheeks, sighing softly. Regulus hiccupped.  
_

_"I'll be back, Reggie. I promise." Sirius whispered to his younger brother who slept peacefully on the large bed. Sirius turned and let himself be led away onto the street by Brian.  
_

_"Andromeda is here to watch over you, pets. Be good for her..." One of the watcher-maids said and pushed a kind looking woman toward the group of teens. Andromeda smiled.  
_

_"He'll forgive me...I'm his big brother. His big brother, Sirius." Sirius thought to himself, listening to his trainers pound against the walk.  
_

_"Find your brother and get out." The words, his mother wrote, read.  
_

Sirius inhaled deeply and let is out slowly. Remus shook his head rapidly, eyes large. 

"So...that's my life." Sirius whispered, glancing up at Remus under dark lashes. The next thing Sirius knew, his arms were full of Remus and the amber-eyed boy was whispering quickly and quietly in his ear. Sirius stiffened, not used to cuddles and hugs from anyone but his brother, but soon relaxed, hugging the boy back. 

They sat there for a few minutes before Remus pulled back, a determined expression on his face. 

"I'll help you save your brother." 

Sirius drew back in shock and shook his head, gaping like a fish. 

"N-No!" He finally managed to yell. "You could get hurt." Remus snorted and waved his hand. 

"Hush, Pads." He stood and dusted off his pants, mumbling lists of supplies under his breath. "We're going to need food, clothes for Regulus, money..." 

Sirius stared as the boy disappeared down the hall into his room and started banging around. 

Remus reappeared, wearing all black and holding a duffle bag in his left hand. In his right hand he held a bundle of dark clothing. 

"Here." He said and tossed the bundle to Sirius, who caught it. "Put it on." 

Sirius raised an eyebrow, glancing from the black clothing in his hand to the black clothing he was already dressed in. 

"Hey, Moony?" 

"Yeah?" 

"Don't take this in offence or anything..." Sirius turned the bundle over and over in his hands. "but are you color blind?" he laughed. 

Remus rolled his eyes and whacked him with the newspaper he was about to toss into the trash. 

"Shut up and get dressed. There might be dogs and they'll probably have something that smells like you..." 

Sirius nodded and quickly redressed, ignoring Remus' blush. 

"Done." He said to Remus' back, who cleared his throat and turned back around, his neck and cheeks still stained a faint pink. 

"Great. Now...we should go now and camp out until nightfall. You'll go in and get Regulus while I keep watch. Got it?" Sirius nodded. "Good. Let's go." 

Remus sat, hunched up next to Sirius, his thigh pressed against Sirius'."How much longer?" Sirius whispered and unfortunately for Remus, the words were being spoken directly into his ear. Remus shivered and swallowed the lump in his throat. 

"Uh...only a few more minutes." He felt, more than saw, Sirius nod and then there was silence again. 

They sat there for a few more minutes before Remus nudged Sirius. "Alright. Go." 

Sirius got up and, crouching low, made his way to the door of The House. He wiggled the doorknob and as he suspected it was unlocked. He slipped in, silently. 

The house looked exactly how he remembered. Old time gothic style in blacks and yellowish gold. He quickly made his way up the stairs, onto the floor of rooms. Counting he tip toed down the hall. 

1...Caroline...2...Francine...3...Joseph...4... 

He stopped. 

4...Regulus. The tiny sign, hung on the door, read in loopy letters. 

He knew better than to knock and instead pressed his ear to the door, listening for motion. There was no sound. 

Sirius sighed and turned the knob, pushing the door open silently. He poked his head in. 

TBC 


	5. Chapter 5

Title: Regrets, Memories or Healing.

Author: AntiLupinTonks

Beta: Vikertee

Disclaimer: Blahblah. DON'T OWN.

A/N: Hmm. Little background info:

Day: Saturday.

Time: 9:41 pm

Mood: Bored out of my minddd.

Listening to: Strange and Beautiful - Aqualung.

I haven't heard from my beta in...err...four days sooo chapter four is actually sent to her already but I decided to go ahead and just start writing this one.

-- Previously on Regrets, Memories and Healing --

_1...Caroline...2...Francine...3...Joseph...4..._

_He stopped. _

_4...Regulus. The tiny sign, hung on the door, read in loopy letters. _

_He knew better than to knock and instead pressed his ear to the door, listening for motion. There was no sound. _

_Sirius sighed and turned the knob, pushing the door open silently. He poked his head in. _

-- Chapter Five --

He smiled. Regulus was kneeled in front of his bed, his eyes closed tightly and his elbows resting on the mattress. His lips moved in silent prayer.

Sirius stepped into the room, making sure to lightly close the door behind himself and padded silently across the room to where his brother sat. He positioned himself next to him, his elbows next to Regulus.

"Amen..." He heard his brother whisper and grinned, turning his head to stare into two very surprised eyes.

"Hey, Reg. Miss me?" Regulus launched himself at the taller boy and hugged him tightly, pressing his face into Sirius' shoulder, making his rescuer laugh.

The small boy pulled back and stared at Sirius, his grey eyes filling with tears. He grinned.

"You came back!" Sirius quickly shushed him and nodded.

"Of course I did, but we have to hurry. C'mon." He said and stood. "Leave your stuff" he added when he saw Regulus reach for his dresser.

Together, they tiptoed out into the hall and toward the stairs.

"And where d'ya think you're goin'?" A gruff voice came from behind them and the brothers froze. Regulus swallowed and looked over his shoulder.

"Erm...just for a drink, sir." He said, nudging Sirius his the side to let him know that he'd take care of the issue.

"Oh yeah?" The voice came again. "The water's in your room, lad. Y'know that."

"I-I ran out..." Regulus whispered and winced lightly at his stutter.

"Ran out?!" He barked a laugh. "'ow much water yeh drinkin'?"

Regulus giggled nervously and started edging backwards, Sirius following his lead.

"Who's yer friend?" Both of the brothers flinched.

"N-No one. J-Just...erm...Joseph...h-he's thirsty too..." Regulus swallowed hard and gave a shaky smile. Sirius heard the man behind him snort.

"I jus' saw Joseph. Sound asleep, the good lad." He stepped a bit closer. "Stop playin' games now, y'hear? Jus' tell me who the lad is..."

Sirius swiveled around but hunched his back, partly hidding his face in shadow.

"Henry. I just came today..."

The man in front of him was tall and wide, he seemed almost three times the size of a regular man. His face was kind but hard, his eyes narrowed.

"Oh? Henry, yeah? Must've missed the memo...I'm Hagrid." He grinned, his face brightening and shoving a large and calloused hand in Sirius' direction.

Sirius shook his hand hesitantly, wincing at the strong grip.

Hagrid stuffed his hands in his pockets and rocked back on his heels, a bit like a child.

"Alrigh' then. Go on and get yer water. Then get on straight back teh bed, y'hear?"

Sirius and Regulus both nodded before scrambling down the stairs toward the kitchen.

The older of the two leaned his hands against the counter, panting.

"Too close. They must have raised the security since I left..."

Regulus merely nodded.

"So who's helping you get me out? It can't just be you..." Sirius looked offended. "No, no. Not like that." Regulus was quick to reassure. "I meant that it would be hard for you to keep watch and get me out at the same time...someone had to be watching for Brian, right?"

Sirius nodded slowly. "Okay, then. Who is it?"

"Just a guy I met. Remus Lupin. You'd like him..." he smiled. "He has these amazing eyes that just sort of bore into you, and he smells really good. Like books and Autumn wind..." Regulus snickered. "What?"

"Nothing..." The shorter boy smirked, his eyes twinkling with mischief. "But I think Siri's in love."

Sirius blushed and mumbled something along the lines of 'shut up'.

They stood there in peaceful silence for a few moments before Hagrid's heavy steps on the stairs forced them to think fast.

"Quick!" Regulus hissed. "Out the back door..."

Sirius stumbled over to the door and turned the knob. Locked.

Panicking, Sirius turned to Regulus and opened his mouth.

"You g--" DING. DONG. DOONNNG DIIINNNG.

The ancient bell chimed throughout the entire house and sent a shiver down Sirius' back. The steps on the stairs paused.

DING DONG DONNGG DIIINNG!

"Alrigh', Alrigh'. Keep yur pants on." The steps continued but turned away from the kitchen, through the living and opened the front door. The brothers were frozen where they stood.

A muffled conversation could be heard and Sirius motioned toward Regulus. Together, they tip toed toward the kitchen door, preparing to pry it open when a familiar voice stopped them.

"I'm here for my son. Regulus."

The color drained from Sirius' face.

TBC.

A/N: I have this finished...but my Beta still hasn't sent me chapter four back. I don't know when this will be up...so I'm sorry if it's late. If it isn't...Yay Vikertee!

A/N (edit): Okay Okay, Vikertee was away so PHEW. But just because of that I'm updating so soon. : Umm. Yeah. When I get up to 20 reviews I'm going to update...

Chapter six is already beta'd and ready to go...just...REVIEW. KTHNX.

ANTILUPINTONKS


	6. Chapter 6

Title: Regrets, Memories and Healing

Author: AntiLupinTonks

Beta: Vikertee

Disclaimer: Blahblah Don't Ownnnnn.

A/N: YAY! 20 REVIEWS EVEN! and in only one day. xD Heres the next chapters buddies. Enjoy!

"I'm here for my son. Regulus." Sirius heard and felt the color drain from his face. He turned to look at Regulus who was equally, if not more, pale.

"M-Mister Black! A surprise." Hagrid cleared his throat, almost as if he was stalling.

Sirius swallowed hard and then turned to Regulus.

"Quick!" He hissed. "Go hide."

Regulus frowned but turned on his heel, pulling the pantry door open and carefully climbing in, shutting the door firmly behind himself. Frantically, Sirius tried to find somewhere to hide.

"Where is my son? You do know where he is, don't you?" Sirius' heart hammered in his chest as the door creaked closed, signaling that his father was indeed in the house.

"Y-Yes, Sir." Hagrid muttered and his loud footsteps sounding again, approaching the stairs. "He was upstairs in bed the last time I saw him!" He said, louder than he needed to.

Sirius smiled slightly. Hagrid was helping them. He fumbled through the keys hanging on the hook above the stove, embarrassed that through all the excitement he had forgotten they were there. The loud jingling didn't help his nerves.

"Wait a second..." His father's voice came, directly outside the kitchen door. Sirius froze.

"What?"

"Who's in the kitchen at this time of night?" He stepped closer, his expensive shoes clicking against the hardwood floors.

"Err...em...uh...probably just one of the maids...cleaning up, Y'know?"

Orion didn't answer.

Their steps started upstairs and Sirius relaxed slightly, continuing his search through the keys.

"Aha!" He whisper-shouted and held the correct key up triumphantly.

He walked over to the food pantry door and opened it. Regulus stared up at him with a deer-caught-in-the-headlights expression but he relaxed when he saw it was only Sirius.

"C'mon. I found the --" but Regulus never found out what Sirius found when the door of the kitchen busted open. They both snapped their heads around and gasped.

Orion Black stood there a cold expression on his aristocratic face.

"Well well, my boys. It seems you've been very bad..." his voice held a dark humor to it that caused a chill to run down both Sirius' and Regulus' backs.

Sirius scowled and stepped protectively in front of Regulus.

"Father." He growled, causing Orion to chuckle.

"Are you angry with me, Siri?" Sirius didn't like the tone in Orion's voice. He didn't like it at all.

Sirius clenched his fist around the key tightly and reached back to nudge the key into Regulus' hand.

Inhaling deeply, Sirius hunched his back, preparing to tackle his father and give Regulus enough time to get out and to where Remus waited.

"Uncle Orion!" A high-pitched squeal came from behind the doorframe and Sirius frowned. He forgot his cousin Bellatrix was also here.

Orion forced a thin smile on his face and looked over his shoulder just as a girl came into view. She had dark wavy hair that fell down to her middle-back, and her half-lidded eyes sparkled maliciously. She has sunken out cheeks, giving her either an 'evil and beautiful' or 'dead and revolting' appearance, depending on your point of view.

"Hello, dear Bella. I hope you are well."

Bellatrix giggled and nodded.

"Yes, very well, Uncle. Brian is very sweet to me."

Sirius nearly gagged but restrained himself enough to use this distraction to his advantage and get Regulus out.

Together, the brothers edged toward the door. Standing in front of him, Sirius covered Regulus from view as the he pushed the key into the lock and clicked it open.

Orion's smile had turned slowly into a grimace as Bellatrix relayed every detail of Brian and her relationship, which let me tell you, isn't that entertaining.

"Yes yes..." he cut her off mid-sentence and turned back to where Sirius and Regulus stood just as Regulus threw the door open and bolted out.

Growling, Orion lunged out to try to chase him but Sirius held him back.

"BELLA! GO GET HANK AND DROID AND TELL THEM TO GET REGULUS!" He bellowed over his shoulder while trying to wrestle his way out of his eldest son's grip.

Bellatrix turned on her heel and ran toward the front door, screeching as she went.

Thoughts and prayers whizzed through Sirius' head.

_Regulus was always a fast runner, he should have been able to get out and get to Remus by now._

_But what if the guards catch him first? _

_He probably is hiding in the bushes. Regulus is smart. He'll know what to do..._

_But what if they find him?_

Sirius forced the pessimistic thoughts from his head and concentrated on restraining his father, who was slowly losing strength.

Looking over his shoulder he figured Regulus would have had enough time to get to Remus.

He shoved hard on his father's shoulders, sending him flying back into the wall. Quickly, he turned and bolted out the house, inhaling sharply as the wind whipped at his face.

He ran straight to where he knew Remus was waiting and was positive he'd see Regulus there as well, wearing the over-sized sweatshirt Remus said he'd have ready.

He got there and Remus turned around, a surprised look on his face.

Panting, Sirius crawled into the bushes behind him and grinned.

"We did it!"

Remus frowned.

"What? Where's your brother?" The grin fell off of Sirius' face.

"Isn't he here?" Remus shook his head.

Sirius swallowed hard and a glee-filled laugh caught his attention. He peered out of the bushes to see his father standing over a crumpled figure.

He felt his heart sink and only one word flickered through his shocked mind.

...Regulus.

TBC.

(A/N: What? You actually thought Sirius was gonna be able to save Regulus? Pft. Yeah. Like it'd really be that easy. Okay, okay. I'm evil. But fear not, dear readers! There is still a possibility that Regulus will be saved! If you review and tell me if you think he should be saved or not I MIGHT take your vote into consideration. But you'll have to review to let me know...)


	7. Chapter 7

Title: Regrets, Memories and Healing

Author: Antilupintonks

Beta: Vikertee

A/N: Suspense...Suspense...Suspense...and now for the long awaited Romance!!

Chapter Seven:

"Don't worry, Sirius. We'll get him." Remus muttered while gently pulling Sirius back, away from the bushes and against the cool, stone wall. They rested there for a few minutes, listening as Orion's laughter faded into the distance.

"I failed him." Sirius whispered, his voice cracking.

"Oh, Sirius." Remus pulled the taller boy closer and embraced him tightly. "You didn't fail him. Regulus loves you and you love him. You could never fail him." Sirius sniffled and hid his face in the wolf-like boy's shoulder, letting the few tears drop.

"Thanks..." Sirius murmured after a few minutes, pulling back. His ears, neck and cheeks were stained red from embarrassment. Remus merely smiled.

Sirius looked at Remus, taking in his appearance. His hair was flopping over his forehead and brushing his long golden lashes. His eyes were piercing, even in the darkness His face wasn't perfect and a few faint scars littered his skin. Sirius' fingers itched to reach up and touch them. His gaze dropped to Remus' lips, small and thin. Light pink and chapped. Sirius leaned forward slowly...

"Padfoot?" Sirius snapped back to reality and reeled backwards, flushing.

"Uh...What?" Remus chuckled and leaned forward, pressing his lips to Sirius'.

Sirius froze for a second before letting his eyes flutter shut, kissing the petit boy back. Sirius had kissed a lot of men and quite a few women as well, but none of the kisses were like this.

Remus' lips were soft and faint, barely there. He tasted like hot chocolate and Sirius pressed closer, reaching up and placing his hand on the back of Remus' neck, keeping him from pulling away.

Nimble fingers grazed over Sirius' face, tracing his chin, nose and eyelids. Carefully they drew apart when the need for oxygen became too much. Smiling slightly, Remus placed his forehead to Sirius' and pecked the red and swollen lips twice.

"Hey, Remus?"

"Yeah?"

"Why did you say my name?" Remus chuckled.

"You were taking too long..."

"Set him down on the couch."  
Two bulky men crammed their way into the living room, carrying a small boy in between them. They not-so-carefully set him down on the large and fluffy beige couch. Orion stepped over and bent at the waist, hovering over his youngest son. Thin fingers shot out and pressed against Regulus' high cheek-bones. "Wakey, Wakey, Reggie." He whispered in a singsong voice.

Regulus groaned and blinked his large, grey eyes open. They crossed briefly before focusing on his father's face.

"Daddy?" He whispered, his voice taking on a childish tone and the line in his forehead smoothing out. Orion chuckled.

"Yes, Reggie. Time to wake up." Reality crashed into Regulus, causing him to snap his eyes fully open and shoot up into a sitting position.

"Where's Sirius?" He asked, panic clear on his face.

Orion chuckled.

"Don't you worry about Sirius, Reg. He'll be with you soon..."

"Alright, what's the plan?" Sirius asked, snaking an arm around his new boyfriend's waist. Who would have thought that in a time of crisis he would start his first real relationship? Remus smiled.

"Well, we could try and find him...but I have a feeling that's what your father wants." The dark-haired teen nodded grimly. "Sirius..." Remus shifted, moving from Sirius' grasp and facing him. "I-I think you should just let Regulus go." Sirius recoiled, an angry expression blooming onto his face. "No, no." Remus quickly added, taking Sirius' hand. "I'm not done. I don't think your father would hurt Regulus. Maybe we should just go away for a bit and let him think you gave up. Once he drops his guard we can come back."

"He's my brother, Remus." Sirius stood and began pacing, not caring if anyone noticed him. "I can't just leave him behind." Sighing, Remus stood and gathered Sirius into a hug.

"We'll come back, Paddy." They stood there for a few moments. Sirius nodded.

"Okay..." He whispered, his voice barely audible.

Several hours later, Sirius stared at the sunrise through the window of the train. Remus snored softly in his ear and Sirius wrapped his arm around the smaller boy. He watched as streams flew by and closed his eyes. They'd be in Scotland by noon.

_Regulus grinned and reached his hands out. "I'm gonna catch you!" He giggled as Sirius ran, chasing __behind (not sure that's necessary. but actually, i think i've only noticed it cos of a lack of worthwhile things to say. well done) __his older brother. Sirius kept running, even when he heard his brother call out to stop. Regulus' footsteps stopped and his child-like screams pounded in Sirius' head. "SIRI! SIRI!" Sirius kept running, his trainers pounding against the concrete. The darkness enveloped his body._

_"He'll forgive me..." He whispered, tears dripping from his eyes. A wall shot up in front of him, and Sirius looked up, straight into the eyes of Regulus Black. His body was squirming as arms wrapped around his bare shoulders and pulled him out of view. _

_Sirius turned and ran, sobs forcing their way out of his throat._

_"SIRI! SIRI!" His four year old voice echoed through the house as Sirius turned the knob of Regulus' room, expecting to see him on his knees, praying._

_Regulus stood in the middle of the room, sneering. Behind him stood Orion, a large hand on Regulus' shoulder._

_"Sirius..." They spoke simultaneously. "Sirius, wake up."_

_"What?" Sirius whispered as fire flared up around him, burning his family before his eyes. His mother's voice muttered directly behind his left ear. _

_"He'll use Regulus against you..."_

"Wake up..." A hand was shaking him and he bolted awake, panting. Remus' worried face stared down at him and he forced a smile onto his sweaty face.

"H-Hey..." He croaked.

"You okay?" Sirius nodded and sat up, subconsciously trying to stop his shivering. Remus nodded.

"You might as well get up, we'll be arriving in a few." They both got dressed in lighter jumpers and waited for the train to stop.

Sirius and Remus stepped out of the train station and stood close together.

"Where are we going, anyways?" Sirius asked.

"I have an old friend we can stay with."

"Really? What's his name?" Sirius asked as they started walking toward a car that just pulled up. Remus pulled the passenger seat door open and a man with light brown hair stared up at them with sparkling brown eyes. Remus smiled brightly.

"Sirius, this is my friend..." Sirius grinned. "Frank Longbottom."

TBC

A/N: Not very long but I tried to drag it on for as long as I could. Hope you enjoyed!!


	8. Chapter 8

Title: Regrets, Memories and Healing.

Author: AntiLupinTonks

Beta: Vikertee

A/N: I'm a bit disappointed, people. I only got a couple of reviews for last chapter. No matter, I'll continue this anyway.

Chapter Eight:

Frank grinned and held his hand out, which Sirius shook with his own.

"Nice to meet you, Sirius."

"Likewise." After a bit of conversation, Sirius found himself speeding down a dirt road, in the backseat.

"I hope it's no trouble, My wife's friend is staying with us for a while, you'll have to share a guest room..." Remus twisted around in his seat to look at Sirius who merely winked, causing Remus to blush faintly.

"No problem at all..." Sirius answered, his voice holding a slightly suggestive tone.

"Great." If Frank noticed the chemistry between the two he didn't mention it and soon he was driving up a long curving drive, leading to a large but homey building. The house had a country look to it, with a long wrap-around porch and windows with large white shutters on them.

"Thanks again," Remus said as they got out the car, dragging their suitcases with them.

"Think nothing of it." Frank answered and the three men made their way inside.

Remus and Sirius set their bags down in the front hall as Frank called out into the kitchen.

"Alice? We're here!"

A woman appeared from a doorway with warm brown eyes and wavy dark brown hair. (1)

"Frank? Remus!" The woman walked over, pulling Remus into a hug. "It's been too long. How are you?"

"Perfectly well, Alice. This here is Sirius, my friend." Sirius smiled and made to shake Alice's hand but was caught by surprise when the woman dragged him into a hug.

"Perfect." Alice said as she pulled back and started bustling them into a well lit kitchen. "My friend, Lily, is upstairs at the moment, I'll just go get her. Make yourself at home." With one final smiles, Alice was gone. Sirius glanced at Remus and grinned.

"Lovely lady." He said and Remus laughed.

"Right in here," they heard Alice say and another voice murmured something and suddenly two women stood in the kitchen, Alice herself and another. She has dark red hair French braided down her back, wearing a plain cream colored skirt and pink blouse, a small smile set firmly on her red-painted lips. She held out a manicured hand.

"Lily Evans..." Sirius smiled distractedly, but shook nevertheless, and as Remus shook her hand as well his face brightened in an excited smile.  
"You're the girl I bumped into in Diagon Alley!" Lily furrowed her thin brows and looked at him sternly, soon the small smile returned.

"Sirius Black, no?" Remus and Alice looked between the two, confused.

Sirius chuckled but quickly told them the short story about how they bumped into each other. Somewhere in the story Frank returned from his washing up, wearing a plain white oxford and khaki trousers. He clapped his hands together and grinned.

"Dinner ready, dear?"

Smiling and planting a playful slap onto her husbands arm, Alice and Lily excused themselves to the dining room to set the table as Sirius, Remus and Frank conversed softly.

Soon, dinner was indeed ready and the five somewhat new friends ate a wonderful meal, chattering joyfully all the while.

Regulus grimaced as a plate of food was set down in front of him. The food itself was extravagant, a lovely meal of chicken with onion sauce, greens and a bit of mashed potatoes. The plate is what caused the grimace. It was a sparkling silver platter, with intricate designs burned into the sides, the Black family crest featuring the top of the plate. Regulus never had a problem with being a Black but growing up with a brother like Sirius you had to pick up a few ideas. He felt his father's stare burning into the back of his neck so he just swallowed his pride, picked up his fork and ate. Yes, the food was very good indeed.

Sirius wiped his mouth with his napkin and smiled brightly.

"Brilliant meal, Alice. Absolutely splendid." Alice chuckled at the compliment and collected the plates.

"Remus, why don't you show Sirius your room? It's the second room, the one you stayed over Christmas last year." Remus nodded and stood, leading Sirius from the dining room and up a flight of stairs, down a hall and into a room. The room wasn't much but it had a certain warmth to it that caused Sirius to instantly feel at home. It held a single four poster bed and a tasteful beige comforter and sheet set. The walls had a slightly out-dated wallpaper to them, but it worked well in the country-theme. A small dresser sat in the corner and a closet on the opposite wall. Their bags were already on the bed.

"Wow..." Sirius breathed as he stood in the middle of the room, and just to be a bit like the movies he watched a child, he spread his arms and twirled in a circle. Remus watched, amused.

"It's not much bu--"

"It's amazing," Remus smiled and wrapped his arms around his boyfriend's waist from behind, pressing a kiss to the back of Sirius neck. The older boy shivered and turned around in Remus' arms to direct a sly grin in the shorter boy's direction.

"Why, Mister Moony...are you trying to seduce me?" Remus smirked and took Sirius' hand, pulling him toward the bed.

"Moi? Never..."

The next morning Sirius woke up in the large comfy bed, his arm slung over Remus' midsection. Yawning and sitting up slightly he realized this had been one of the only times he slept and didn't have a nightmare. With all the shifting Sirius made, Remus woke up and rubbed the sleep away from his eyes.

"Padfoot?" He mumbled and Sirius looked down at him, smiling. Leaning down he pecked Remus' lips.

"Morning, love." All he got in response was a soft grunt.

"Get up, you two! Breakfast is ready!" They heard Alice's voice call from outside the door accompanied with a loud knocking.

"We're up, we're up!" Remus grumbled, obviously not a morning person. They both got up and showered (together, because it would take less time).and dressed. They walked downstairs smiling, calling a cheerful 'Morning!' to the three other people in the dining room. Alice raised an eyebrow.

"And what are you two so happy about?" she asked as she poured some coffee into her husband's mug and passed the pot to Lily. Remus and Sirius exchanged looks and smirked.

"Nothing..." was their innocent reply.

"So when do you think we'll be able to go back for Regulus?"

Sirius and Remus were sitting in the Longbottom's living room, enjoying a cup of tea and each other's company. Both the Longbottoms and Lily had disappeared about an hour ago to either the master bedroom or the library. Remus blew on his tip a bit before taking a sip and answering the dark-haired teen across from him.

"I suspect in a week or so. Your father doesn't seem like a very patient man." Sirius nodded and answered darkly.

"No. He's not patient at all..."

TBC

A/N: Well, It wasn't the best chapter in the world but it already 2am and I'm tired. I wanted to finish this yesterday but I was too busy. Hopefully, this will satisfy you all for a bit.

(1) I don't know Alice Longbottom's real appearance, I don't remember if JKR mentioned in one of the books so if this isn't what she really looks like then forgive me. If anyone knows her true appearance then let me know, I'll edit it. Thanks.

AntiLupinTonks.


	9. Chapter 9

Title: Regrets, Memories and Healing

Author: AntiLupinTonks

Beta: Vikertee

A/N: Thanks to all my reviewers! Love you guys. Here...have a cookie.

So sorry for the late update but up until recently I had every intention of abandoning this fic. But, I was trying to get to sleep one night and a burst of inspiration struck me. So here's the next chapter!

Chapter Nine:

"I'll wait outside, and keep the car running." Frank assured the two teens, a grim expression stuck on his face. Remus and Sirius nodded before disappearing together into the darkness. They moved quickly and quietly toward the towering building which was The Home.

"Okay, same thing as last time?" Sirius whispered as they crouched behind the bushes. Remus frowned,

"No way, I'm going with you."

"Fine, Fine." Together, they made their way to the door and Sirius hid in the shadows slightly as Remus rang the bell, and they waited...and waited...and waited.

"No answer..." Remus murmured as he looked upward, toward the windows that lead to the bedrooms. Sirius came out from his hiding spot and joined Remus on the step.

"Maybe they're all asleep." Sirius shrugged but Remus shook his head.

"No...maybe they're gone."

"Tsk Tsk...back already?" A voice came from behind them, and Sirius and Remus swiveled around.

"Father." Sirius greeted coldly and his gazed flickered around him, counting the men he had with him. Ten. _Coward._ Orion bowed his head and smirked, tugging a blindfolded figure next to him. Sirius ground his teeth together.

"I see you kept him alive."

"Sirius?" Regulus whispered, tugging against his father's grip.

"Shut up." Orion said serenely. "Did you come to give yourself up?"

"In your dreams."

Remus straightened his shoulders as Sirius tensed, preparing himself for a fight. Orion chuckled and took the revolver from his belt, surprising Sirius since he didn't notice it earlier. He cocked the gun and held it to Regulus head.

"In my dreams?" Sirius clenched his fists, a flicker of panic appearing in his eyes. Remus shifted uneasily.

"I...didn't think that was your style, Father. Much too messy..." Sirius answered nonchalantly, his mind racing for a way to get Regulus out of this. He was buying time and they all knew it.

Orion laughed, a sign of sadistic pleasure in the noise.

"You don't know me at all then, Sirius. I quite enjoy a nice messy murder. The more blood, the better." He said this in a quiet voice, making Sirius question his sanity once again. Regulus whimpered, drawing Sirius' attention back to his little brother. He had to think fast and so, doing the one thing he knew his father thought he'd never do...Sirius tackled him.

Surprised, Orion squeezed off a shot, missing all targets completely. The two black haired men rolled, and subconsciously Sirius noted Remus fighting off a couple of the goons and drawing Regulus to himself. Orion brought his elbow up swiftly, knocking the air out of Sirius' lungs and switched their positions. The click of the gear moving into place invaded Sirius muddled mind as he panted for breath and he threw all his weight at his father, forcing him to the ground. Another shot rang out. A gasp. Everyone froze. It was as if the world stopped as they all looked over to the blindfolded teen.

Regulus was stooped over, his hands to his stomach. Blood leaking from between his fingertips.

"No..." The word glided unnoticed from between Sirius' lips in a whisper. Regulus gasp, a raspy sound that scraped against his teeth and he shuddered.

"S-Siri..." The side of his mouth twitched and he fell, as if in slow motion, onto the ground where he lay still.

"NO!" Rage filled Sirius and he turned to the body under him and began to beat it mercilessly. He felt blood on his knuckles but he didn't stop, he continued to pound his fists into the now no responsive body. He felts arms grab his own and pull him up and back, dragging him away from his father. Still he swung, blindly swinging at the air. Nonsense words spilled from his lips and tears threatened to spill from his eyes but he held them back. The arms vanished and Sirius collapsed to his knees, panting and shaking. Arms encircled his waist and a head was laid on his shoulder. Remus. Sirius turned partially and whispered hoarsely,

"Is he...?" He felt the nod of confirmation and he felt his world fall out from under him. The stress was closing in on him, the air was becoming thick. "So sorry..." He whispered, barely audible before he succumbed to the darkness and everything went black.

--

Remus was able to brace himself for Sirius' fall and managed to catch him in time.

"Remus?" Frank called and the amber-eyed boy turned, pulling Sirius up so he carried him bridal-style.

"Over here." He said back in a normal tone. Frank emerged from the bushes, and he took in the scene.

"What the hell happened?" Remus just shook him head and motioned Frank closer.  
"Here, take Sirius and go back home. I'll call the police and get all of this settled." Frank looked hesitant but he nodded, taking the unconscious boy from his arms and disappeared back in the direction of the car.

Remus pulled a mobile from his pocket and dialed, calling the police. He explained as best as he could the situation without stating names before fleeing the scene. He went to his old apartment and proceeded to remove all the clothes he didn't take before. Next, he went to the bank and took out all his savings. Lastly, he dialed an old friend up; he needed a ride back to Franks.

"Diagon Inn, James Potter speaking."

"Hey, James. It's Remus..."

--

Sirius sighed, as he woke, snuggling into the warm body next to him. Then the body went rigid and then disappeared completely. Confused, Sirius blinked grey eyes open to be met with surprised amber ones.

"S-Sirius?" Remus whispered.

"Yes?" Sirius whispered back; what type of game was this? Suddenly Sirius found his arms full of the smaller boy as he, reflexively, returned the hug. "Not that I don't appreciate the hug, but what's it for?"

Remus pulled back and there was a flicker of pity in his eyes.

"Siri..." He whispered and Sirius frowned.

"Wha--?" The door opened and only then did Sirius realize he was in a hospital room. A woman with red hair, twisted up in a bun peeked her head in and smiled warmly.

"Hey Remus, Sirius." Sirius looked over, forgetting about the conversation with Remus.

"Hello, my Lily-flower." Sirius smirked and winked cheekily. "I see you came to visit me. Missed me, did you?"

Lily merely rolled her eyes and mutter:

"Better not let James hear you say that."

"Who?" Sirius asked, an expression of confusion on his face.

"Lily's new boyfriend," a voice supplied from the doorway and Alice walked in, followed by her husband. Lily scowled and opened her mouth to protest, but Sirius beat her to it.

"But Lily..." he sniffed and wrapped his arms around an amused Remus.

"Well, if I can't have you, I'll have to settle for Moony here." Remus gasped and landed a smack on Sirius' head. Sirius smiled and nudged Remus' neck with his nose. "Just kidding, love."

Frank cleared his throat and looked away, flushing as the two woman cooed. Sirius rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, yeah. Now, _Siriusly-" _A chorus of groans "Why am I here?" Everyone's smiles disappeared.

"Er..." Remus muttered and sat up. Lily and Alice shot glares at him.

"He doesn't know?" Lily hissed.

"Well, how was I suppose to tell him?"  
"Tell me what? Sirius butted in and all eyes snapped to him. Swallowing, Remus shifted, the flicker of pity returning to his eyes.

"Do you remember what you were doing before you blacked out?"

Sirius frowned, a line appearing between his brows.

"We were at...The House..." And then memories slammed into him as his body shuddered. Faintly, he could hear voices calling his name but he wasn't listening.

_Regulus lay on the grass outside the house, red staining the front of his shirt. Eyes closed, he looked so peaceful and if it weren't for the lack of rising-and-falling of his chest he could have been asleep._

Vaguely, he noted he was crying and arms were wrapped around him as they rocked. Regulus was dead and it was all his fault.

--

The days after that were blurs to Sirius as they led up to Regulus' funeral. The teen stayed locked in his room and no amount of begging would get him to open the door. Finally, Lily had enough of his moping.

"SIRIUS BLACK!" She yelled, marching up the stairs. "GET YOUR ARSE OUT OF THAT ROOM OR SO HELP ME-" and the door swung open. Lily faltered but then continued on.

"YOU ARE SEVENTEEN YEARS OLD! YOU CANNOT AND I WILL NOT LET YOU ACT LIKE A CHILD!" Remus, Frank, Alice and James cringed as Lily continued her verbal onslaught.

"DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?!" Sirius stared at her, black hair falling limp against his forehead, once sparkling grey eyes dull. He dragged a breath between chapped lips and nodded.

Lily's face softened as she opened her arms, drawing Sirius in.

"I only yell because I care, Sirius. Now c'mon, love. Get dressed and cleaned then come downstairs. You must be starved." She let go and turned, walking back down the stairs. The soft click as the door closed was her only reply.

--

Remus sighed and ran a hand through his hair. It'd been two hours since Lily came back downstairs and she was still confident that she got through to him. The three other people weren't so sure.

Sipping his tea, Remus halfheartedly watched James' attempts to woo Lily.

"Just one date, please..." He was begging now and as much as it amused Remus to watch him make a fool of himself, he stood and walked into the kitchen. He set his empty cup in the sink and turned on the water to rinse the remains of tear away when arms encircled his waist and a chin came to rest on his shoulder.

"M'sorry." Sirius muttered and Remus could feel that the taller boy's hair was still damp from the shower.

"For what?"

"For blocking you out." A butterfly-kiss was placed to tea back of his neck. Remus turned around and wrapped thin arms around Sirius' shoulders, threading his fingers through Sirius' hair.

"It's alright."

"Oh, um...sorry." An embarrassed voice came from the door and both boys turned to look. James ran a hand through his hair, a faint pink blush crawling up his cheeks. Sirius smiled and detangled himself from Remus, extending his hand to James.

"Sirius Black."

"Ja--"

"James Potter, I know." James frowned.

"How'd you kn--?"

"You worked at Diagon Inn, remember?" A flicker of recognition sparked through hazel eyes and his smile turned into a grin.

"Small world, eh?" Chuckling, Sirius grabbed Remus' hand, threading their fingers together.

"C'mon then." Sirius muttered and together they followed James into the living room.

"Hey, Evans!"

"What?"

"Go out with me?"

Sirius smiled and turned to Remus. Sure, he had his regrets and he had no doubt that at Regulus' funeral tomorrow he'd be a mess but with Remus by his side he knew he'd make it. Leaning down, Sirius dropped a smacking kiss to Remus' cheek causing a blush to erupt on Remus' face. Yes, with Remus there he knew he'd survive.

Fin.

A/N: Yes, it's over. Thanks to Vikertee and all my reviewers. No sequel is planned but if anyone has any ideas or wants to write the sequel themselves then you can contact me and I'd be happy to hear your ideas. (if you want to write the sequel yourself then just make sure I know before you do, and I get some credit.)

Antilupintonks.


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